This month’s blog subject is communication.
Communication is often easier said than done.
Why is this?
We all have different strengths and weaknesses. For some of us communicating is easy and a pleasure and for some of us communication is more of a burden. Of course what, and with whom we communicate may change the likes or dislikes of the process all together. Like it or not, however, the bottom line is that communication is the basis for all relationships.
There are many different forms of communication. Animals communicate through sounds, gestures and body language, and so do we humans. We can even communicate through mental telepathy but that’s not what I mean — I am talking about good old vocal cord-activated words coming out of our mouths.
Communication can become challenging when different points of views are at play or emotions want to be expressed. Another common difficulty is that people often hear what they would like to hear or hear what fits into their reality perspective or their comfortzone.
Here are some guidelines as to how can we perfect the art of our own communication ability?
First, there is no such thing as perfect! Let go of any pressure of it having to be “perfect” and let go of it having to go a certain way.
Second, let go of any expectations of how you would like to be heard, received or responded to.
Third, be clear within yourself what it is you wish to communicate and be sure to express your feelings in and around the subject. How you feel matters.
Fourth, do not interrupt or allow interruption.
Do not hog speaking time and do not allow it to be so dominated.
Fifth, speak your truth without censoring. Speak it as calmly and respectfully as you can. Do not alter your truth out of concern for the outcome if only because at best you would be speculating what that outcome might be.
Sixth, check in to make sure that the other party is understanding/hearing the meaning of what you are saying. Visa versa, listen and be sure to repeat important points back to the other person to let them know you are listening and that it is important for you to understand and show respect.
Seventh, remember it takes two to tango. It’s ok to give a little and to receive a little — in other words find a solution that works for both parties.
The solution is always attached.
The more we consciously communicate the better we become at it and the greater the benefits will unfold for ourselves. Especially if it is difficult for you to express yourself, know that this means that it is something you must practice! And after all, repetition is the mother of success.
Communication is uplifting and healing to relationships, it creates intimacy and that benefits all of our relationships, personal and professional.