Communicate yourself into connection.

  |   change, transformation

The deepest yearning that all of us souls share is the need for love, acceptance and connection. Yet the feeling of connection often seems to disappear when communication fails, taking with it the experience of love and acceptance.
All of us know what it feels like to experience that sense of disconnect from somebody we love. We can feel that there is something that the other person isn’t sharing. We feel the energy of what is being left unsaid. Emotions are energy at their core, as we are energy. When these emotional energies do not get processed this energy remains, builds up, thickens and ultimately will disconnect the individuals from themselves.
These are the “blocks” or “walls” people refer to when they feel stuck or have a sense that something is hindering them. Unprocessed and unexpressed emotions store and they can and will weigh you down.
When things do not get spoken we can almost see the pink elephant in the room. And as the elephant grows, the other person begins to feel more distant.
Many do not feel comfortable, safe or manly enough to calmly express how they are feeling. Most of us were never taught. This means, do not take the communication shortcomings of another person personal. It’s not that they don’t want to express themselves to you, they aren’t capable of expressing themselves to anybody.
Communication is the key to all successful relationships. ALL!
I am not suggesting screaming matches or break down temper tantrums. I am speaking of calm, elegant and safe expression of emotions or feelings about situations. Only speak your words when you have calmed down to the level of honoring and respectful conversation. Expression is not about blame or shame, that’s ego, but expression is about clearing the space of energy between two or more people.
Much of the art of communication has to do with being heard.
See, as we overcome any fear of sharing ourselves, there is nothing more rewarding and loving than another person genuinely interest in hearing what and how you feel. When a person is able to listen without judgment, simply for the sake of hearing you, deep healing is possible for both sides.
There is no need to offer solution, there is no need for advice; emotions don’t need advise.
Not everybody is conscious of the importance of expression as well as of hearing and understanding what the other is experiencing. If this is the case in your life and you find yourself surrounded by the lack of expression, low confidence in communication or the absence of somebody hearing you, then you must focus on expressing to and with yourself first.
Many of us do not process our emotions properly and most of us do not acknowledge or communicate what the experience meant to us on deeper levels. I encourage self-communication because it is an easy way of understanding and releasing what lies beneath the surface of what affected you. It is important to learn how to understand your own personal emotions first.
By expressing to yourselve, without censoring, you allow for the accumulated energy to flow and possibly teach you more about what you need to learn.
Get clear on how you are feeling and what your environment is triggering within you. It may just be the dawning of change; change in scenery or change within your relationships. But as we know, it always starts with you and the more you can hear yourself with unconditional acceptance and love, the stronger you will grow to create the necessary change. Remember emotions are harmless, as long as you can keep your head out of them and just feel.
When this place of safe expression is present within any relationship, the love, the trust and the connection deepens tremendously. We feel closer to this person, we feel safe and loved. This is the feeling of connection and belonging we all yearn for on the deepest levels of our Being. It will bring closeness to both parties, the one who speaks and the one who listens. Fueling ultimate connection in our humanity.
In the end it is our emotions that make us Human. It is the fearless sharing of these energies that interconnects us with others, brings us closer and illuminates our hearts with compassion and care. Emotions aren’t bad, scary or wrong. On the contrary, emotions are powerful communication tools to learn more about our environments and ourselves. So don’t hold them back but don’t unconsciously act them out either!
They are yours and they are sacred. Take responsibility for them first and then express them freely and courageously.
Watch what will happen!
With blessings of love and light to you and yours,

Britta Dubbels