Freedom to love.

  |   healing, self love, transformation

Freedom to love.
“It isn’t about who you love but how you love”, said Lennon.    
 I agree with John 100%. Who we love isn’t the issue; in the end nobody can give us permission but ourselves.  
Gay, straight or whatever other preference there may be. The issue is “how are you loving”? 
“How deep can you go?”
We know that marriage is merely a protection, which is supposed to have the outer world “accept” the desired union. For example, in the case of a tragic accident, the one partner if not of the opposite sex now finally has the right to visit their loved one in the hospital. (Sad but true in the case of an emergency, if not married, one doesn’t have the rights to visit their loved one in the hospital. Crazy huh?)
But marriage doesn’t immediately equal love, as we all know plenty of unhappy marriages.
As always the heart of the issue moves away from the outer world, direction inward. We can always love more and we can always love deeper. Love is good for our soul, it makes us happy and healthy, it clears karma, it raises our vibration… it makes us taste life. Love is the greatest flavor of life, however do we really savor this flavor called LOVE? Do we actually give ourselves permission to LOVE fully and do we even know what this feels like?
We have all learned “how to” love differently.
Some of us have learned that love hurts, that it betrays, some that love nurtures, that it abandons and others that love is critical. We already know that we replay the stories we have perceived and the patterns we have learned since childhood. Surely we can all agree, there are always deeper and purer levels to love. We can always love more!
Why wouldn’t we want to care to love more fully and more deeply? Why is it perceived as a risk by so many? 
Because we have shut down, because we have closed up or built walls so tall that they appear indestructible! 
We are afraid to get hurt again. I have a client who promised himself to never open up and “let that happen again”!
 One client said to me “I told myself, the less I feel the less I can get hurt”. 
Another said “I don’t think that I can ever trust again”.
Those are pretty big statements and hold great repercussion.
You may not realize this but when we promise ourselves “to never let that happen again” or “to never feel that again”, we give an agreement, an unwritten contract to ourselves, which will forever change the way we love. This verbal contract with ourselves is what shuts down the heart, builds up the walls and shifts us from feeling fully into intellectualizing everything.
You will want to go back in memory lane and ask yourself “what promises have I made to myself”?
So perhaps it isn’t about needing anybody to give you permission to love, but rather to free yourself from the chains of the past? It is up to you, it is your choice to free yourself so that you may love fully again!
If you are wondering about your levels of love and if you are incapable of loving deeply, you certainly want to invest some time to dig. 
It could be an ancient and deeply buried contract you made with yourself. 
Maybe you didn’t even really mean what you said at the time and have forgotten all about it.
One clue for you is to rewind life and remember the times of devastation. Remember when you cried for weeks over the loss of love. Don’t worry, you will not relive the pain but hopefully remember how you felt about the experience. 
Try to remember if in those moments of pain you gave yourself bad advice or reacted with a protective statement. 
Ask your subconscious: “what are my agreements or contracts that I have made in regard to love and the pain it caused me? 
Have I put protection mechanisms into place that are keeping me from feeling safe and open to love?”
Wait, this may take a few days, even weeks, keep asking; keep listening. Listen within, the answers as well as the communication is there. It needs you to choose it, as it takes two to tango. The answers will come, stay persistent.
Once you have your answers you now must take freedom into your own hands.
 I suggest you void all old contracts by writing them down on paper and burning them in a fire (full or new moons are a perfect time). Release the past, free yourself by proclaiming “I release you into the universe. I release you back into love and light consciousness.”
Next, you write down a new contract with yourself, one that promotes love and the feeling experience of it. One that affirms your safety in love and in feeling it.  
After all, emotions are just energy. You either let them flow through or build and strengthen them with thoughts. 
Speak this new statement out loud every day for 21 days.
I promise you things will change. You will begin to feel freer and lighter. You will feel more open yet safe in this openness.
You will feel more LOVE!
Choose love, choose your freedom to love and choose to taste life in its fullness. You deserve it and you owe it to yourself.
May you love deeply and may you love gracefully.
Blessings to you and yours.
With love and light,